A Unique Approach

Too often in family mediation the focus is more on the business at hand – arriving at a written settlement detailing the equitable distribution of property, custody arrangements and other matters – to the exclusion of all else. While attending to these important and necessary elements, I am mindful that if you are in this process, there is also brokenness and pain that should not be ignored.

Care comes along with compassion, but it is more than that.  The old term “Cure” was once used to describe pastoral ministry, having to do with the care or cure of souls.

Pastors “walk with” the people in their charge.  I will “walk with” you — offering guidance, support, and expertise.  Sometimes pastors challenge and call out the best in people, reminding them of God’s presence in their lives and His good and redemptive purpose for them.

I take these responsibilities seriously and will work with you and other professionals – your pastor, therapist, and others — to provide spiritual support and guidance through this difficult time.  As Mediator, I will help you arrive at the best possible outcome for all involved.

I don’t want to be a Mediator who happens to be a Christian, putting God ‘on the shelf’ during this critical time.  To the extent both parties are willing, I invite the Lord to be present in the process itself.  This happens as we begin each session in prayer and rely upon His guidance and presence.  It happens through the counsel and wisdom of God’s word.  It happens as we strive to conduct ourselves in a manner that honors Him – even in the midst of brokenness and divorce.

Reconciliation is a strong Gospel imperative, and I am committed to pursuing as much reconciliation as is possible on every level.

The primary reconciliation is in each of us finding peace with God.  Reconciliation with self and new circumstances is also critical.  It might involve accepting a new reality and moving forward in faith and hope.  Reconciliation between family members and other important relationships is sometimes a need.

Finally, there is reconciliation between the divorcing spouses.  Reconciliation of the marriage might not be possible, and in some instances it might not be the best, most godly choice.  Yet God does indeed hate divorce, and I am committed to restoring marriages when possible. I provide Mediation to Stay Married, a new and growing field within Mediation.  I will help connect reconciling spouses with the best, most appropriate additional resources available.  [For more information on Mediation to Stay Married, click here]

For spouses proceeding with divorce, reconciliation is still a possibility, pursuing amicability and peace rather than antagonism and rancor.  It makes a difference in what you say about the other person in front of children, and in how well you conduct remaining mutual responsibilities.  Most of all, it matters in your own healing and wholeness moving forward.